OK, men and modesty. Some may think that these two, although parallel, are completely different subjects. "It isn't a women's responsibly, it's the man's body. He should control it." Although, to a certain extent, I would say that I agree, I would also say that to a larger extent, I would disagree.
I recently had a conversation with a dear friend of mine, on this very subject. She told me a story of a women, who had been "liberated" from dressing modestly. This women had been so worried about dressing modestly, about what men thought of what she wore. It had become a point of anxiety for her. She said that the Lord told her to stop worrying so much. So she went to the opposite extreme, saying that women shouldn't worry at all..... I am not saying that she wasn't convicted to stop worrying, I'm not saying she was though either.... I am saying that you can't take modesty too far, you can't take anything too far, for that matter.I agree that women need to be responsible for the way that they dress.
In 1 Corinthians 8:9, when Paul was talking to the Corinthians, about eating meat that had been sacrificed to Idols, he said this:
9 But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.
10 For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will not the conscience of him who is weak be emboldened to eat those things offered to idols?
11 And because of your knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died?
12 But when you thus sin against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.
I also want to say that being a "modest women" has as much to do with your attitude as it does with what you are wearing. I have met all kinds of girls and young women that dress modestly. Yet are just as immodest at Jane.
There are ones that are only dressing this way because their parents, or husband wants them to. They have not personally taken on the conviction.
There are those who have a "Holier than thou" attitude towards dressing modestly. They think that, because they are dressing this way, they are more Godly than Jane down the street, who dresses in crop tops, and daisy dukes.
I have also found, unfortunately, that there are girls that seem angry for having to dress this way, they seem to be thinking, "why should I have to suffer, and not wear the latest trend, just because some guy can't control himself" this is NOT a pleasant person to be around.
The attitude that sticks out to me the most to me, are the girls that seem to think, instead of "I have to dress this way", they think" how blessed am I that I get to dress modestly, in an attempt to help my brothers, to reduce their struggle, if even a little." The girls that have this mindset are so sweet, and they are so fun to be around!
I try to maintain this mindset, but it is difficult. We, as women, are made to complete man, we want men's approval, we want them to want us. We are also vein by nature, we want to look as good as possible. With these two weaknesses, bred into us and encouraged by our society, we are vulnerable to wanting to dress a little appealing, then a lot appealing, and the next thing you know we are dressing no differently than Jane, who we used to think dressed terribly. I think that we, as women, need as much of a reminder to dress modestly, as men do to guard themselves.
I recently had a conversation with a dear friend of mine, on this very subject. She told me a story of a women, who had been "liberated" from dressing modestly. This women had been so worried about dressing modestly, about what men thought of what she wore. It had become a point of anxiety for her. She said that the Lord told her to stop worrying so much. So she went to the opposite extreme, saying that women shouldn't worry at all..... I am not saying that she wasn't convicted to stop worrying, I'm not saying she was though either.... I am saying that you can't take modesty too far, you can't take anything too far, for that matter.I agree that women need to be responsible for the way that they dress.
In 1 Corinthians 8:9, when Paul was talking to the Corinthians, about eating meat that had been sacrificed to Idols, he said this:
9 But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.
10 For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will not the conscience of him who is weak be emboldened to eat those things offered to idols?
11 And because of your knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died?
12 But when you thus sin against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.
They are talking about eating meat yes, but the principle is the same. If you know that something is a stumbling block to your brother, yet you do it anyway, you are sinning against your brother and God. Now I can just hear a ton of girls worrying right now. (If there were a ton of girls reading this) But I want to say Don't worry! The key phrase here is, "if you know that you are causing them to stumble." If you didn't know, just start over. There is no need to become depressed over it. If you feel strongly convicted, and remorseful, you can apologize, and then move on, conscience clear that you are now doing what the Lord wants you to do.
Now, please don't think that I am saying that all guys or "off the hook!" They are responsible for their body, but so are we. If you have a piece of bacon, and your wave in front of a dog's nose, he is going to take it, it would be strange if he didn't. But don't beat the dog for taking your bacon, you are offered it to him. Instead we should scold ourselves for being idiotic enough to do such a thing! Again, guys aren't off the hook, they just aren't soley to blame.I also want to say that being a "modest women" has as much to do with your attitude as it does with what you are wearing. I have met all kinds of girls and young women that dress modestly. Yet are just as immodest at Jane.
There are ones that are only dressing this way because their parents, or husband wants them to. They have not personally taken on the conviction.
There are those who have a "Holier than thou" attitude towards dressing modestly. They think that, because they are dressing this way, they are more Godly than Jane down the street, who dresses in crop tops, and daisy dukes.
I have also found, unfortunately, that there are girls that seem angry for having to dress this way, they seem to be thinking, "why should I have to suffer, and not wear the latest trend, just because some guy can't control himself" this is NOT a pleasant person to be around.
The attitude that sticks out to me the most to me, are the girls that seem to think, instead of "I have to dress this way", they think" how blessed am I that I get to dress modestly, in an attempt to help my brothers, to reduce their struggle, if even a little." The girls that have this mindset are so sweet, and they are so fun to be around!
I try to maintain this mindset, but it is difficult. We, as women, are made to complete man, we want men's approval, we want them to want us. We are also vein by nature, we want to look as good as possible. With these two weaknesses, bred into us and encouraged by our society, we are vulnerable to wanting to dress a little appealing, then a lot appealing, and the next thing you know we are dressing no differently than Jane, who we used to think dressed terribly. I think that we, as women, need as much of a reminder to dress modestly, as men do to guard themselves.
Again, please don't misunderstand me. I am not saying that a girl can't dress figure flattering, or nicely. Neither am I saying that it is a crime for a young man to like what we are wearing, or to find us attractive. I just think that self-control MUST be practiced.
And PLEASE don't think that I am saying we should all wear burkahs!
We just need to stop going to extremes and think about things sensibly! .... I think that as Christians, we have become a people of extremes. The world thinks that vegetarian is the way to go, one half will go vegetarian to accommodate the world, and to be a good witness, the other half will go to being carnivorous, because we are to be in the world, not of it..... Just chill out people! As long as you are not doing something dishonoring to God, there is no need to change.... Now , if one day, being vegetarian or carnivorous is what depicts a certain cult from another, it is completely understandable to shy away from that. There was a point in time, that wine was completely acceptable to drink, not to open up a whole other can of worms,but Jesus drank wine. He made wine, was it the same as we had today? I don't know....I wasn't there..... The point is, things change over history and time. If there is something that you are/ have been doing, that is now a very specific trait of a specific cult, just think about the image that you are portraying before you do it again. But also, if you are being convicted, don't ignore it... Listen!
And PLEASE don't think that I am saying we should all wear burkahs!
We just need to stop going to extremes and think about things sensibly! .... I think that as Christians, we have become a people of extremes. The world thinks that vegetarian is the way to go, one half will go vegetarian to accommodate the world, and to be a good witness, the other half will go to being carnivorous, because we are to be in the world, not of it..... Just chill out people! As long as you are not doing something dishonoring to God, there is no need to change.... Now , if one day, being vegetarian or carnivorous is what depicts a certain cult from another, it is completely understandable to shy away from that. There was a point in time, that wine was completely acceptable to drink, not to open up a whole other can of worms,but Jesus drank wine. He made wine, was it the same as we had today? I don't know....I wasn't there..... The point is, things change over history and time. If there is something that you are/ have been doing, that is now a very specific trait of a specific cult, just think about the image that you are portraying before you do it again. But also, if you are being convicted, don't ignore it... Listen!
I don't want Y'all to do any of this, just because I said it. If you feel convicted, think about it, pray about it. TALK TO YOUR PARENTS!!! I cannot stress how important that is. If you don't have a parent figure that you can talk to, go to one of the elders in your church. Just go and talk to someone older and wiser than you.
I saw this video a couple years ago. It so wonderfully depicts what I am trying to say. It at least harmonizes with it. I think it is a wonderful thing to watch, whether you are male or female... Now I have shown this to people before, and they were rather insulted because not all men feel the way that the video depicts. And I would have to agree. Please don't think that all men feel the same as this video. If you don't know if something is or is not a stumbling block, just ask a man. I would suggest an older man that would be able to answer you honestly, but PLEASE, if you are stirred, don't just sit there.... Take action!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ch-7p4fceQ
Thank you for dealing with my ramblings!
~K
I saw this video a couple years ago. It so wonderfully depicts what I am trying to say. It at least harmonizes with it. I think it is a wonderful thing to watch, whether you are male or female... Now I have shown this to people before, and they were rather insulted because not all men feel the way that the video depicts. And I would have to agree. Please don't think that all men feel the same as this video. If you don't know if something is or is not a stumbling block, just ask a man. I would suggest an older man that would be able to answer you honestly, but PLEASE, if you are stirred, don't just sit there.... Take action!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ch-7p4fceQ
Thank you for dealing with my ramblings!
~K
